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Our 716 Team, United.

  • doctorlaura716
  • Jan 25, 2022
  • 6 min read

Updated: Jan 25, 2022


In the days since the much-discussed game Sunday night, I have seen many patients and read many internet comments, articles, blips, and memes. There are the naysayers, the anonymous trolls, and the typical "angry elves," as Buddy the Elf might say, projecting their own struggles out into the world. The Buffalo Bills and all local sports teams, for that matter, are a wonderful scapegoat for the angry elves' pent-up energy when you think about it. Actually, it is a much safer, healthier outlet than a friend, loved one, pet, or co-worker.


I did not anticipate my first "positive psychology"-based blog post to be about a heartbreaker of a Buffalo Bills playoff loss. I fear I will fail to adequately capture all that has been happening in this tiny little office on the computer screen, on the phone, and over the "waves' of telehealth.


First, there is always a bit of a letdown at the end of every Bills season. For so many of us in WNY, Football is a legitimate season of the year. Having grown up in a small town in Southwestern NY, there was relatively little to do. I learned the game of football at a very young age. "Super Tecmo Bowl" on the original Nintendo Entertainment System was a favorite of mine, especially when I learned to sit behind my father and- ahem- cheat by watching his finger combinations on his controller and then beat the ridiculousness out of him for an entire game or two or three, leaving him questioning how on earth could he be so terrible at this game. He thought I was a mastermind of predicting his play-calling...

I was also particularly fond of the "C.B. triple" back in the day as a chubby teenager. Anyone else remember? You know you do... That would be the ooey, gooey, barbequey McDonald's triple cheeseburger named in honor of our beloved Cornelius Bennett.


I vividly recall watching those 4 super bowls in middle and high school. It was disappointing each time but never did we give up or lose hope. It did not even faze me how the adults in my world might be feeling...Were they sad? Depressed? Were their moods affected? Do people today feel more upset because of all of the chitter of social media? Hmmm...


When I went away to college at Geneseo, I traveled home for almost every single Buffalo Bills game (i.e., to watch on television with my family). For those games that I could not, my father and I began a tradition that we maintain to this day. If we cannot be in the same room when the Bills are playing - even if he is ten minutes down the road - I call him the moment after the Bills score a touch down every. single. solitary. time. since. 1995. There is something so special about picking up that phone in anticipation as the Bills get to the red zone.... waiting... hoping... These days, I am much more confident I will get to make that call!


There is no sugar-coating the fact that Sunday night stung after how stinking hard that offense worked... again and again and again! Sometimes, though, not all parts of the machine are going to work as efficiently as they typically do, and - more importantly - there are ALWAYS going to be teams and people out there who are at least as good as we are. So, we have to accept that and move forward. We had an opportunity that we seized and held on to and truly grabbed for a few minutes. It was so amazing while we held it! I was literally full-throttle airborne and screaming in my family room - along with my goldendoodle - pure joy! - when Diggs caught that two-pointer. I was, likewise, airborne moments before with Davis's, what?, 4th reception of the night? Simply INCREDIBLE. Alas, there were still 13 seconds. And all of the puzzle pieces have to fit just so, stars have to align, etc. Oh, and there was that minor little Mahomes factor...


But stop. Wait just a second. Did you see our leader on the sidelines after those few moments? Did you see him? Talk about full throttle. Josh Allen was FIRED UP like a superhero monster! He was taking it in, reaping the benefit, feeling the adrenaline, and appreciating all the superhuman hard work and energy he had just wildly expended. His valor had to be contagious to his teammates: that emotion was POWER. Were life a video game, all of their power meters would have been blasting off the screens.


We all know what ensued next, and the rehashing of that can be found anywhere you turn on the internet. I would SO rather not do it here.


The press conferences after the fact, though... There was more to their faces. Could you see it, too? Those men believe in us - 716, Bills Mafia, and their fan base - just as much as we believe in them. A family requires unconditional love in both directions, ideally. Unconditional. When you let down someone you love, there is heartbreak. That is what I saw on their faces. It was a different level of hurt. They knew the Bengals had won and they would be bringing the AFC game to us. They knew they had let us down.

That is why it is up to all of us- the 1-Buffalo-family, Bills Mafia, 716 - to make sure these guys know more than ever that their family won't turn on them. What I find fascinating is the response the kids in my office have had. They are actually what inspired this blog post. They can see in Josh Allen what adults do not always see. He is a walking example of positive psychology and of how life and challenges work. You can work your tail off - be considered the #1 quarterback in the National Football League - did you see that?! - considered the #1 quarterback in the NFL - and have the game of your life - and still not win. This is life.


So, what do you do? You go home and you show your feelings. It's okay to show them! Show you are disappointed. Do not sugar coat. Do not blame others. Feel them; take accountability; share them. Why, Men, is it acceptable in professional sports to share feelings but not in other realms? That remains a quandary to me, but the bottom line here is that #17 has made it crystal clear that he has room to grow, learn, and challenge himself further. He needs to keep working hard. He has to put in the time, effort, and study to get back up on the horse and try again.


The kids see this. For some reason, in a world of do-overs, 40-character quick-bytes, failure-fearers, delete-if-insufficient-likers, picture-editors..... They are able to see that success takes time, hard work, and - most importantly - failures along the way. How you respond to those setbacks and failures defines your future trajectory. I can already hear the angry elves and trolls responding to this, suggesting I have my head up my ass, comparing NFL to life, but I am well-aware that a playoff game loss in the NFL is hardly what most would define a "fail." Everything is relative, though, and - given the context of the other night and the roller coaster of emotions we all felt - I think it is safe to say that it felt like a setback not to win that game.


The adults in my office in recent weeks have also commented on how this Bills squad under Josh Allen, Sean McDermott, have done something for a post-Trump era Western New York. Regardless of where you stood/stand politically, and I shall remain neutral on that front here, there is no arguing that we were more divided than ever during that era and, sadly, have remained so. COVID, then, broke us a little further and harder. Josh Allen and our Bills have helped heal and unite us, without question. The classic graphic/Meme translating every single statement in WNY to "Go Bills" is a great example (i.e., Good morning=Go Bills; Where's the closest gas station?= Go Bills; Your fly's down= Go Bills). Leave WNY wearing Bills gear and you know exactly what I'm talking about. Just sing "Eh-eh-eh-eh" and you will get an echo in return. We are united behind our team and with one another and must find a way to carry this feeling throughout the year. I think that might be what makes many of us the saddest. Maybe that is why I collect Bills clothing obsessively. It helps me keep them close until the combine/draft/training camp...


So, to Josh Allen, this Bills squad, and all of the leaders associated with it - you WON. You have brought this 716 back together like never before, and we are thrilled to watch you! The children see your grit, determination, and resilience as you get back up again, and we stand behind you as you do, too. I know that I do, and the majority of those with whom I work feel the same. Keep spreading the messages that you do, and maybe even add in the fact that it's okay for boys and men to talk about how they feel the way you do after you lose a game. Maybe we wouldn't end up with so many angry elves and trolls behind screens, bashing whomever for whatever wherever - were they able to actually talk about what was bothering them in the first place. :)



Until next time...









-Dr, Laura 716




--

Laura M. Anderson, PhD HSP

Licensed Psychologist and USA Health Service Psychologist



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(c) 2022 DoctorLaura716

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